Currently my cancer seems to me like what Israelites had to face in the story of Moses and Israelites crossing the red sea as written in Exodus 14. God told them that they would be redeemed and taken to the promised land, overflowing with milk and honey but after they escaped and were trying to flee, they end up near the red sea. We read in Exodus 14:6-7 that the king of Egypt regretted his decision to free them and chased after them. He took his people with him and also took six hundred choice chariots, and all the chariots of Egypt with captains over every one of them. If we look at it practically, there was really no way for the Israelites to survive. It was like checkmate in chess! They would either be killed by the Egyptians or will drown in the sea.
My present situation is kinda like that. All odds are against me, my cancer is terminal. My recurrence chemo didn't work. My cancer has progressed to Stage 4 (spread to my lungs). My CA-125 (cancer marker) is still high - 2900 where as the normal range is below 35. From what I understand from my oncologists, there is only 30-50% chance of the another standard chemo to work and the other option is clinical trial, which no one knows if it will even work or not.
At this point, I am really tired of doing treatments and I don't have any energy left in me to fight this battle anymore but I know I have to because I don't have a choice. God has been talking to me through sermons and messages that this is not my final chapter. So for now, I am going to hold on to the verse in 2 Chronicles 20:15,
“15 He said: “This is what the Lord says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.”
Like how Moses had to lift up the rod as we read in Exodus 14:15-16 "And the Lord said to Moses, “Why do you cry to Me? Tell the children of Israel to go forward. But lift up your rod, and stretch out your hand over the sea and divide it. And the children of Israel shall go on dry ground through the midst of the sea." , let's lift up our prayers without losing hope. Please keep me specially in your prayers as we make decisions about clinical trial in the next few days.
Exodus 14:21-22 says that God parted the sea and the Israelites were saved. "Then Moses stretched out his hand over the sea; and the Lord caused the sea to go back by a strong east wind all that night, and made the sea into dry land, and the waters were divided. So the children of Israel went into the midst of the sea on the dry ground, and the waters were a wall to them on their right hand and on their left."
Just like how God miraculously saved the Israelites by parting the sea and doing the impossible, I know that he CAN do a miracle for me, HE CAN heal me!
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