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Hello

I am Jesha John. I live in Massachussetts, USA with my husband, Roshan and two amazing boys Ethan(11) and Ryan(8).

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I was born as a CSI Christian and through marriage, became a Malankara Indian Orthodox Christian. I attend St. Mary's Indian Orthodox Church in Boston. I was born to very devoted and God-fearing parents. So from a very young age I have heard the word of God. I started to experience the power of God when I was 15yrs old, since then I have always been close to God and was able to experience HIS power and presence in every phase of my life.  

 

In August 2020, at age of 39, an unexpected and dark chapter got added to my book of life. I was diagnosed with advanced stage Ovarian Cancer. I had to undergo multiple surgeries and start chemotherapy treatments immediately with 6 cycles of chemo, each cycle being 3 weeks apart, I finished my frontline treatment in January 2021. After 15 months, the beast was back! I had my first recurrence and did another 6 cycles of chemotherapy. Currently, I'm still fighting the cancer war and I know that my story is not over yet!!

My Story

I believe that God has a purpose and plan for every person born on this earth. He will call you home once that person's purpose is complete. Recently, on the way, for an emergency visit to the hospital for intense chest pain, almost like a heart attack, I was thinking, maybe God is unhappy with me and thinks that "this person is useless so I will call her home" and comparing myself to the fig tree in the gospels (Matt. 21:18–22; Mark 11:12–14, 20–25). Then I remembered about all those assurances God gave that I will not die until HIS purpose of me in this world is complete.

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I have been given the 'Gift of Imagination' where I can connect present day situations to verses/stories in the Bible. But, like Jonah, I have been giving excuses. I have been given so many opportunities to share God’s messages but I am always hesitant to share HIS word with others because I am not comfortable to speak to a crowd that I always compare myself to the 'not a good orator' part of Mosses or afraid that that I would share something which is incorrect since I don't know the whole Bible well enough. My current situation and diagnosis almost feels like how Jonah was in the belly of the whale, pleading with and surrendering to God. So I surrendered saying "I will write and share God's word".

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The chest pain was due to the fluid around my lungs and I had to be admitted in the hospital to do a procedure to drain the fluid. While I was there, I heard the preacher say in a sermon,"Your hands are your instruments". I was shocked because it was just a few hours ago that I was contemplating about writing about my spiritual experiences. It kinda felt like a confirmation from God that I should write. In the sermon, the preacher also said that we just need to be like a wind instrument in the hands of a musician, who blows the wind to play the music. Just like that we just need to be an instrument for God and that he will blow the wind to accomplish his purpose. I don't need to know everything or be perfect, I just have to be an instrument that God can use. Hence this website!

 

This is an unedited journal of what it has been to be diagnosed with cancer and my spiritual experiences during this time.

 

I'm devoted to my home church, presently St.Mary's Indian Orthodox Church, Boston. Even though my parents were open to hear sermons or attend services from other denominations they always attended the Sunday Mass in their home church and were very active members there so that's what they have taught me as well.  My parents were CSI Christians but they also used to attend prayer meetings and services of other churches as well. My mom belonged to an Indian Orthodox family. I studied in a Catholic Convent School and during my college days, I used to attend charismatic retreats in Divine Retreat Center, Murignoor, Kerala so I have lot of Catholic influence as well. I also have attended evangelical and pentecostal meetings. 

 

Want to add here that I do listen to messages and sermons from priests or pastors of all denominations. I will not be promoting any specific denomination here or will be against any denomination. Also I do not consider one superior over the other!

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