MY CANCER JOURNEY
I’ve always been uncomfortable to talk about my cancer experience because I felt I was not ready. I still don't know if I am ready, am afraid to put this on a page but I need to fulfill what I promised to God that "I will write about the spiritual experiences". Also, God wants to have a bigger audience to perform the miracle to reveal his glory and reminded me below verse in John 2:4.
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“Woman, why do you involve me?” Jesus replied. “My hour has not yet come.”
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Throughout my cancer journey, I was able to stay positive because of my spiritual experiences. Whenever I felt low or worried, God would comfort me through a sermon, bible verse or message I read.
How IT ALL BEGAN?
It all began on August 20, 2020 with an emergency visit to the ER with severe abdominal pain. It was diagnosed as acute cholecystitis ( swelling of the gallbladder due to stuck gallstones). I had a laparoscopic cholecystectomy surgery to remove my gall bladder.
A week after my surgery, I got a call from my hospital saying the surgeon wants to see me. So the next day I went to the hospital alone to see the surgeon. After completing the physical exam and enquiring about my recovery, he uttered the words "I'm sorry to say, you have CANCER". He told me that during this surgery that he found some fat cells on my abdominal walls and he sent it for pathological testing and it came back positive for Ovarian Cancer.
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The surgeon and the nurse felt very sorry for me. They were like "Do you want us to call someone or talk to someone?". Usually, when people hear they have cancer, they break down crying or be extremely sad. I sat there emotionless, thinking "Guilty as Charged!! Careful, what you wish for".
You know why....? Because two days ago, as I sat in our family room, feeling lonely after Roshan and kids went to bed I looked at the Jesus picture and said "Lord, Why didn't you take me!!". Usually when you hear the word cancer you think of it as a death sentence. So there it was....'I asked for it'. I have always wondered how people who commit murder be so remorseless and emotionless. At that moment, I understood, why? The only time I cried was when I told doctor that "I am only worried about my kids. They are only 8 and 5".