Hey everyone! I just wanted to give you all a quick update on my health and how the last two weeks have been. After my last round of chemo, I experienced some manageable side effects. So thankful to God that everything has been manageable until now. Thanks to my fentanyl patch, I didn't experience severe pain. As expected it was mostly tiredness, not crazy fatigue so it's been ok.
On July 5th, I looked in the mirror and saw a big red patch in my eye. I was very scared. I immediately thought of the possible side effects of my chemo treatment and eyes getting affected is one of the most possible side effects that the doctors are concerned about. I sent a photo of my eye to my doctor said it might be a subconjunctival hemorrhage and suggested that I call my eye doctor. I spoke with a nurse from the eye doctor's office who confirmed that it was a subconjunctival hemorrhage and that there is nothing to worry about. It will resolve on its own. Even though I received reassurance, I was still super scared and upset. I was worried that it might cause blurry vision or other complications. I felt like my body is deteriorating more and more. A few days later, I started to have severe pain in my left leg because of a swollen ankle. Unfortunately, the Fentanyl patch doesn't have any effect on swollen ankle pain. I have been wearing compression socks, applying Ayurveda oil, and resting so it's a little better. I will talk to my doctor when I meet her this Thursday for my chemo. My eye has cleared up so that's a relief...whew!
On a happier note, our little Ryan turned eight on July 13th! We surprised him with the cake at 12.00 in the night. He wasn't expecting that so he was very excited. On his birthday, first, we went to Fathima Shrine and then for a night's stay at Great Wolf Lodge. It is a tradition that we go to Fathima Shrine every year for our kids' birthdays. Both Ethan and Ryan's birthday is on the 13th(August 13th, and July 13th respectively). Every 13th of the month is special in Fathima Shrine because it was on the 13th of every month from May to October that Mother Mary appeared to three shepherd children in Fatima, Portugal in 1917.
Ryan wanted to celebrate his birthday at Great Wolf Lodge. It is an indoor water park and a resort. They have themed suites with a Wolf den. They also have lots of activities like a rope course, mini golf, an arcade, and a lot more. It's a fun place for kids. We went there on the 13th and came back on the 14th. Roshan and the kids went on all the water slides and wave pool. Ryan was tall enough to go on all the big slides so he was super happy. They had fun! They were also bored after some time. We had gone there last year as well so this year was not as exciting as last year. Great Wolf Lodge is good for a one-time visit! After they were done with the water park, we went for mini golf and ice cream at Kimball Farms then headed back home.
I didn't do any of the activities there. It was hard for me to do anything plus it's been only 4 weeks since my last surgery so didn't want to do anything that increases my heart rate. On the first day, I sat and watched all the fun. On the second day(14th), I was so tired that I slept in the car when Roshan and kids went to the waterpark after we checked out. Checkout is at 11 am, but we can use the waterpark and facilities for the rest of the day. Halfway through the mini-golf, I was extremely tired and there wasn't much walking involved. My exhausted state led me to abandon the game when we reached hole 14 and sit down because I couldn't keep going. My body was so exhausted that I didn't want to do anything, not even eat lunch, just wanted to lie down. Thank goodness, we have the bed in the car. I slept on my way back home. In the night I was having shivers when I was lying down to sleep. I just couldn't lie down. As soon as I lie down I would start shivering. A really bad episode of shivers that made me cry. I was only able to sleep after I took more narcotic medicines and sat in warm Epsom salt water for some time. I was better by morning but was still tired the whole day yesterday.
Following the mini golf episode and thinking about my condition, I was extremely depressed. My condition is so bad that I get exhausted quickly and have to travel lying down all the time. In this condition, I was wondering if we will be able to go to Chicago for Roshan's Cousin's Meet-up in mid-August. Ethan's wish is that we go to Chicago to meet all the cousins. That's how he wants to celebrate his birthday. He wants to go to meet all his cousins and I was feeling very sad that I will disappoint him. I will pray about it. I know that if it's the Lord's wish that he will give me strength and take us there.
On Friday night, Ethan said, "Mama, Like how you experienced miracles related to bible stories I experienced a miracle related to the story of Elijah and the prophets of Baal". The story of Elijah and the prophets of Baal is recorded in 1 Kings 18. Elijah was a mighty prophet during a turbulent time in Israel’s history. The nation had turned away from the Lord to worship Baal when King Ahab formed an alliance with Sidon by marrying their princess, Jezebel. Elijah was sent to show Israel about their evil ways and encourage them to return to the Lord. There was a drought in Israel for 3 years because they had turned away from God. Elijah presented himself to King Ahab, telling him to summon 450 prophets of Baal on Mount Carmel, along with all the people of Israel. He confronted the King and told him that if Baal's prophets prepared a sacrifice and called on Baal, he would prepare a sacrifice and call on the Lord. Whichever caught fire would then demonstrate who was the true God. The worshippers of Baal prepared their sacrifice and called upon him from morning until noon, with no answer. Then Elijah rebuilt the altar of the Lord, prepared the sacrifice, and poured four jugs of water on it. The altar was drenched with water so there was really no way of it catching fire. But when Elijah called upon the Lord, the Lord answered him:
The Lord’s fire came down and devoured the burnt offering, wood, stones, and dust, and lapped up the water in the trench. Seeing this, all the people fell prostrate and said, “The Lord is God! The Lord is God!”
— 1 Kings 18:38-39
On the day we were leaving for Great Wolf Lodge, Ethan got a bad cold in the morning. Ethan was sad that he got cold on the day of our trip. It was not an allergy cold because he had allergy medicine and it didn't help. I had to tell Ethan to stay away from me coz I can't afford to fall sick. If I fall sick I would be in a terrible state with my lung issues. By night, Ethan's cold was completely gone. He was telling us, just like how fire burnt Elijah's sacrifice even though it was drenched with water Ethan said God healed him because when we went to Fathima Shrine he prayed for healing. He said there is no way his cold would have become better with cold medicine alone coz for lunch, he had a frozen Fanta from McDonald's in spite of us yelling at him and also he played in the water park. It was truly amazing to hear when Ethan shared his testimony! I was so happy that he was able to experience the power of God. I was comforted and was able to come out of my depressed state when Ethan shared his experience.
Ryan was also able to experience God in his own way. Ryan had a baseball game on Saturday morning. He was very confident their team would lose coz the team they were playing against is very good. In the morning, before he left for the game I reminded him of the story of David and Goliath and told him that there is nothing impossible for God. Told him to put the sign of the cross before he went to bat or to pitch. Ryan's team won the match and made it to the finals! Not even that, they even featured Ryan's name for leading the team to victory.
Throughout my entire cancer journey, whenever I felt sad, God always provided me comfort through his word some way or the other. Ethan's and Ryan's experience was also a reminder to me that "Nothing is Impossible with God". I was also super happy that they are starting to experience God's power. My prayer and wish is that they would grow closer and closer to him.
Lately, kids have been watching a show called 'Super Book'. It's animated bible stories for kids in a fun way but also teaches them the moral and how it can relate to present life. The show features 2 middle school kids and a robot called Gizmo. When they face a problem in their real life, Superbook takes them to a story in the bible and they learn to solve the problem based on that bible story. We learned about the show when we went for the retreat so sharing it here so it is helpful for your kids or if you want to share it with some other parents.
On the medical front, it's going to be a busy week for me. I have my third chemo on Thursday(July 20th), an eye doctor appointment, a palliative care doctor appointment, and a surgery follow-up appointment this week. Please keep me specially in your prayers on my chemo day!!
Thank you for reading. Have a blessed week!!
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